Refractory Period
“Don’t be afraid to fail.” — Sara Blakely
I’m reading a book called Personality isn’t Permanent by Benjamin Hardy. It’s very good — one of the best I’ve read in a while.
One thing that jumped out at me, is a concept that’s referred to in psychology as a refractory period, or the amount of time it takes to emotionally recover and move on from an experience.
While, in the book, he is using it to refer to past traumas, my head immediately went to sales. Hearing a ‘NO’ or having an unsuccessful prospecting session, while we might not think of it in that way, IS trauma. And it’s something we need to move beyond.
In our home, we practice this often with our kids. If they fall or fail at something, we ALWAYS urge them to try it again before giving up. We went the memory to be of the success, not the failure. We got this from my wife’s experience as a competitive gymnast. When they fell while attempting a skill, even if they were hurt (minor injury), they would be forced to get up and do it again BEFORE they iced.
LeBron James doesn’t have time to sit and over-think every missed shot. He needs to get in position to play defense. Meaning his refractory period is short.
When we let our trauma marinate and never deal with it, it stretches our refractory period and turns our trauma into personality traits. It forged a fixed mindset.
“Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.” — Og Mandino
